Wednesday, January 25, 2017

President Cliff Clavin Strikes Again

I swear I couldn't make this up if I tried.  This is AWESOME!

"Yeah, My good friend Bernhard told me a story."

Maybe this worked before he was so famous, but here are a few rules when making up stories:
  1. Don't pick someone alive that can refute your story unless you get them in on it beforehand.
  2. If it's someone famous, pick someone that's dead (no way to check).
  3. If they aren't dead, pick someone that's really your friend (or at least that you know).
  4. Don't assume all Germans are your friend now that you're a fascist. (But they gave me this card...)
  5. Leave out racist comments about Hispanic people (especially if you're the President)
  6. If you have to be racist, DON'T MENTION SPECIFIC COUNTRIES. (focused racism is more likely to cause retaliation).
  7. Know your audience.  Awkward silence means you should shift to something more mundane or let someone else talk.

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